It’s finally here! Scrum Easy Install® 2.5

Posted By on Nov 16, 2010


Buy it now!Having problems with software delivery?

Quality is less than ideal?

Business doesn’t talk with IT?

I’m sure IT doesn’t even talk with IT!


Am I right?!


Don’t diddle daddle with annoying coaches and expensive training.  ALL you need to do is stick our Scrum – Easy Install® CD in your computer and press GO.  In just a few easy steps, you’ll be on your way to Agile heaven!

With our Scrum Easy Install®, you get…

  • The secret recipe to instantly create high performing teams
  • All the Agile engineering practices you can muster
  • The step by step process and tools to build working software every 4 weeks
  • The patented yoga induced therapy to rid your managers of that nasty muscle memory
  • The automatic and always available Product Owner Selector®
  • The Project Manager to ScrumMaster Evolutionator®
  • The newly improved Conflict Resolutionner Package®
  • The Let’s Talk® conversation creator
  • and the always popular…Silver Bullet On-time-On-budget Product Delivery System®

But wait! With Scrum Easy Install®, you also get :

  • The Team Smell Detector® – Get to the root cause quicker with only 3 «whys»!
  • The Sprint Extender®  – You’ll never run out of time again!
  • A one year membership to Inspire Posters – Culture change is just a poster away!
  • and….wait for it…Coach in a Box®! – Got a problem? Simply click on Waldo®, the on-screen coach canine!

Waldo® will ask you those tough questions, like…

…and many more!

So what are you waiting for?!!

Order now and get the free Daily Stand-up Talking Stick®.  It buzzes!

Disclaimer: Because actual Agile transformations are actually difficult, results may vary.  If failure is observed, you agree that it’s all your fault, not ours.

13 Comments

  1. Eric, you are very funny today 😉

    When you release the alpha ?

    I want it 😉

  2. Thanks! 🙂

    I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it 😉

  3. Excellent! 🙂

    Now… where do I order!

  4. Martin,

    Simply close you eyes, tap your heels together three times and the UPS guy will be at your door. 🙂

    Thanks for the comment!

  5. Funniest thing I read in a long time 😉 Unfortunately, also the viewpoint of the majority of the people at my place about Scrum…

  6. Hi Eric,

    Thanks for the comment!

    Invite some co-workers to read this post. Sometimes, sarcasm goes a long way 😉

    Cheers!

  7. I closed my eyes and tapped my heels 3 x – no delivery – *sigh* Is customer satisfaction guarantee covered by the product?
    The talking stick arrived! It meows … I’d prefer it to bark – could you add that to your backlog?

    🙂 Very clever – bet corporates would buy it!

  8. Hi Samantha,

    Thanks for the comment!

    Ok…We are about to add :

    As a […], I want the Talking Stick to bark in order to […] ?

    You’ll need to fill in the blanks before we prioritize it 😉

    Cheers!

  9. Wow, I call it working software , Eric. I want it , Can we add the Lean Extension to this? LooL. it’s really good article , because some of my customers want something like that. I’m going to create Agile pill for organizations.

    Regards

  10. Thanks for the comment Asad!

    Cheers!

  11. Awesome! How do I become a reseller for this amazing product.
    ps: This product really needs a TV-Shopping-Channel commercial.

  12. The Slap-Chop guy would be perfect!

    Thanks for the comment Rudi!

  13. Thanks for sharing!

    Question: Does the Sprint Extender support an infinite duration?

    Also, I couldn’t see anything about Automated Continuous Improvement or a Random Retrospectives Report Generator . Do you have something that does the same thing? My customer does not want to worry about that..

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